Love Lived out...

On my side of our bathroom sink underneath my jewelry hangs a little handwritten note that is over ten years old.

It's from my dad.

I don't really remember all the details of when he gave it to me, but I do remember it was attached to some money that I needed before school at the sweet age of sixteen.

It must have made an impact on my heart because I kept it and found it again at a time in my life when I really needed it.

Cameron and I had just moved to Texas and I was struggling through missing my folks, city living and finding my way through unfamiliar territory.

I was unpacking and there it was and I still remember how my heart felt when I found it.

it was one of those moments ya know.

Fast forward a few years and it sill means the world to me to have that sweet little note from my dad and it hangs in our bathroom for me to see.

it reads

"have at good day"

no typo, my dad wrote "at" instead of "a"

and I think that is why I love it so much

its so him

The older I get the more I can relate to my parents and the stronger my adoration and respect grows for them

parenting is the greatest and the toughest and I often find myself not knowing exactly how to get out in my actions and words the love and hope I have for them in my heart.

my dad is much the same way.

he never gave me fancy gifts or loved on me with big words, he lived out his love in simple and meaningful ways.

The time he lived it out most was last year when Cameron and I lost our 4th baby in the second trimester of my pregnancy.

I remember talking to my dad on the phone that night after we got the news and he was giving me pep talks about how to be strong and to get through this.

but I knew what he was trying to say and the very next day I saw it and felt it.

my mom had to work the day of my surgery and so badly wanted to be there, but when she called and said my dad wanted to come I was a little shocked.

he isn't the kind of dad that handles girly personal things well, and I kind of felt like this was one of those times.

I think I might have said something about it not being necessary, but for the first time in my adult life my dad was really hell bent on a life issue with me.

I asked cam if it would be ok if he came and so the three of us headed to Springfield the day of my surgery.

and it wasn't until it was time to wheel my back that I saw why my dad wanted to come.

a part of me believed that he was coming to keep cam company or because my mom couldn't come, but it was then that I realized he came for me.

I expected it to be hard for Cam when it was time for me to go back. he always says its so hard to see me hurt and know that there isn't anything he can do. he squeezed my hand and kissed me good bye.

and then it came time for my daddy and I could see how much he loved me and cared by the way he told me good bye.
he was hurting because I was hurting and the only way he knew to show how much he cared and loved me was to be there.

and as the wheeled me away I watched the two greatest men I have ever known walk down the hall to the waiting room to wait for me to get out.

And that picture will forever be engraved in my mind.

I am so much like my dad.

I fumble through words trying to tell people how I feel about them and it usually doesn't come out the way I hoped but I truly pray that I live out a life of love the way he did that day.

so simple and strong and true.

"have at good day"